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Last Visit: 230 weeks ago
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I am on the way to New York in the private jet i just bought and i am trying desperately to make my friend Janey laugh. We're on our way to get burgers and milkshakes and although she is not in a grump, she is certainly not amused by the in-flight entertainment i am providing.
I am making shadow puppets, pulling faces, telling bad jokes ("What has 2 legs and can't walk? A MAN WITH NO LEGS!"), making fun of fictional characters she doesn't like, i am doing everything i can think of but she is just staring out the window, arms crossed, unconcerned.
I start to get annoyed that she is ignoring me when i am being so perfectly funny and i redouble my efforts, louder jokes, more animated shadow puppets, impossibly silly faces, i do them all whilst running around the cabin. I feel like Robin Williams in every interview he has ever done- incessant, ceasless, relentless!
It's been ages and Janey hasn't said a word. Now i am really pissed. "Fine, you know what, i'll just jump off the plane! That'll get your attention!"
I wrench open the door and jump out in one crazed motion. As i leave the plane i see Janey serenly rise from her seat. She doesn't even care that i have just jumped to my death and will never get my burger and milkshake.
As i am falling i see a set of steps and Janey is exiting the plane with her bag under her arm. My feet touch the ground with a heavy thud that travels up my legs and reverberates in my hips. Janey smiles out of the corner of her mouth and waits on the runway for me to catch up to her.
We had already landed and i was to busy playing the fool to notice.
Favorite visual artistUmm... I just like cartoons really!Favorite moviesALL THE MOVIES!!Favorite TV showsGLEE IS MY NEW FAVOURITE!! Twin Peaks is so good but so scary! I don't watch TV, just films.Favorite bands / musical artistsDolly Parton, I love her! Also most metal and punk.Favorite booksFlip books are the most fun!Favorite writersI like Tom Robbins, I like the way he thinks... And then thinks of something else entirely. And obviously Hunter S. Thompson, for much the same reason.Favorite games"TAG!! YOU'RE IT!!!" *runs away*Favorite gaming platform....what?Tools of the TradePen, paper, eraser, pencil, pencil sharpener, eyes, hands, brain.Other InterestsFACTS ARE FUN! Did you know that bears are the only animal that does not poo whilst hibernating?